sea change

it's weird to visit places of the past. when i visit florida my mind, heart, and body are confused. they feel comfortable, safe, and warm (literally), but they also feel really glad they got out alive at just the right time. and when i now visit, it's not a place i can picture myself in. i don't belong, i'm just a visitor.

new york is the new florida. i was really worried upon our arrival that i might feel a great deal of nostalgia for this place - and possibly maybe, wish we weren't moving across the country. luckily, i don't.

new york is a great place. the streets are small and easy to cross with their one-way traffic flow. and the neighborhoods are long - you can walk down 5th avenue in brooklyn and continually be walking by restaurants and shops for miles. prospect park is still my favorite park - even with its tornado-downed trees and branches littering any soft grass. and the subway really is the best form of transportation anywhere.

but there's been a sea change. there are things i knew existed as part of living in the city - things that i either embraced, ignored, or made excuses for. and now, since i no longer live here, i can see these things more clearly.

- 8 million is really a noticeably larger amount than 1 million
- because there's so many people, you just are damned to have more assholes and idiots - and these people have made unemployed me angry on multiple occasions (they made employed me angry, but i figured maybe it was cause i was in a rush...but nope, they just suck as human beings)
- the subway stations are really, really disgusting. painting the ceiling of a water ridden station is never a good idea new york.
- even though it is supposed to be fall here, it feels like summer. humidity sucks in florida and in new york.
- i love my friends here, love them. but there's been a big change. for the most part (like 10 to 1) they all work in my old industry. and because i escaped that industry (hopefully for life) i have made a choice that in a way is against their choice. and that's weird.

it's a funny feeling, this new york i love you, but want to divorce you kinda feeling. there's memories that can't be forgotten because they are too great. there's special things that will never be replaced by others. and there's people that i will continue to know, but are really an outcome from and old life. it's time for us to go our separate ways. sure, we will probably run into each other now and then, on holiday or something. maybe we'll even fall back in love some day. but for now, it's farewell dear old new city.

pictured: the aftermath of a brooklyn tornado in prospect park - alex // me